Training Coaches makes better husbands, fathers, employees, and friends

Originally upon starting this project my goal was to help men and woman become "Coaches" who would one recognize their influence and platform on the fields and courts of play. What I have discovered is a group of men who are all asking the same questions in life and desire to know their Creator in a personal way as they go through a life that is hard.

What is the single greatest trait of humanity? Many traits could be discussed such as love, compassion, humility, trust, friendly, integrity, consistency. In his book "Season of Life" Joe Ehrmann explains that EMPATHY is the greatest trait of humanity. Although that may be true, compassion is probably a better trait, because we will not always be able to identify with a particular issue any one person may be going through but I can always choose to be compassionate regardless of my ability to empathize with someone. Meeting the needs of others does not require empathy, but does require compassion for fellow mankind.

Parts of our past mold who we are and how we respond to life situations especially on the fields and courts of play. Our relationship with our father can have an influence on our lives. In "Season of Life" 3 kinds of dads are described:

1. Totally absent Father. Never home and when at home doing his own thing.
2. Has presence. this dad may be around but son or daughter would not Know their father and understand who he is and what he believes.
3. Strategic Dad. this would be the dad who spends time planning and working through how to raise his children to be men and woman who are built for others and on purposes teaches his children life lessons that will last a lifetime.

What kind of father are you? More importantly what kind of Coach are you? Do you recognize the platform you have called "Coach".

From Ballfield, to bedroom, to billfold

This week's discussion revolved around what does it mean to be a man and what does that look like as we relate to other men. Our world would have us believe that real men are defined by their athletic ability, therefore how they perform on the ball field has a lot to do with how much of a man they are, we are then lead down the belief path of thinking we should "get" the prettiest most popular girl, after conquering woman we should then strive to have the highest paying job with a lot of status and power. When we have worked our way through those stages of life we will have become real men. This could not be further from the truth and what we teach and how we teach it on the fields and courts of play could have a profound positive or negative effect on the hearts and minds of athletes.

The question as been asked, do men have any real friends? Friends who would care enough about them to hold the accountable for things, thoughts, and actions we would all say are noble and right. Is it necessary for men to have real friends?

When you coach do you tell your team you are proud of them even in a lose for the things they did right and the effort they gave? Or, do we only praise when a victory is gained, what lessons are we teaching young athletes about life when the only praise that takes place is when there is a "W" in the win lose column?

More to be written this weekend as we didn't get a chance to discuss all the topics this past week. Let me and others know if you have thoughts about this post or any other post. Keep coaching the heart as well as the mind and body.

Are Coaches training boys to become Men or training them to be disfunctional?

As you think about our society and specifically what is being taught to our young men through their coaches it can be scary. Young boys are being taught that money, fame, and power is what it means to become a man. They learn at a young age their self worth comes from how well they perform on the field or court of play; later come to believe that they should attract the prettiest girl on campus and do what feels good just be careful, and then as they become of age, do what ever it takes to climb the ladder of success to reach a position of status and financial freedom. As described in the book "Season of Life", Jeffrey Marx writes about Joe Ehrmann who teaches that real men should base their manhood on their ability to have and maintain relationships, live under a code of conduct, and find a cause to live for that is bigger than they are. This is great advice, but so different from what our world teaches.

When I started this round table for coaches I asked the question: "what is the definition of a successful coach?" The answers varied but the conclusion was to have athletes who would grow up and could recognize and point back to us as coaches and say: "that coach taught me lessons about life that I can carry throughout life". While this is certainly true, Joe Ehrmann explains it by stating he would not know for 20 years as we are able to look at the young men we coach now as husbands, fathers, and involved citizens in the community.

My challenge to coaches today is simple: Do you spend as much time preparing to teach your athletes the fundamentals of the game as you do in preparing to teach them the principles about life that will make them good husbands, fathers, and citizens?